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1Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way

Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or street smarts”。

Agree to say that表達中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改為the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(學校給我們提供了獲取書本知識的最好方法)更為恰當 ,同樣後面的the best surviving techniques改為the best method for acquiring common sense,加上street marks(街頭智慧)給文章的托福詞彙增添色彩。

 

2Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wife and daughter

Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters

原句中studying education and communication的說法中式化,不符合英語的表述,應該為studyingeducating themselves。除了詞語表達,此句中還存在其他問題,如名詞單複數的使用:不是提高他們的角色,而是提高他們自身以扮演好母親角色。還有,女性不止一個人。很多人都在扮演母親角色,rolemother應用複數,故將improve their role as a mother改為improve themselves in their roles as mother;同樣,為保持一致,wifedaughter也可用複數,原文中wife的複數寫法有誤,應該是wives

 

3OriginalIf you can get the point of communication by watching TVwill you...?

RevisedIf one can learn about communicating from televisionwill you...?

原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表達不清,讓人難以理解,應該是指“從電視上學習交際”:learn about communicating from television

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