writing-1209121_960_720  

 大家自己寫作文寫這麼多了,不妨來看看其他人寫的作文吧!今天帶來一篇真題,是由英國雅思老師寫的9分範文,本文是關於犯罪話題的,討論教育與監獄誰能更有效地減少犯罪。是一道比較有難度的話題,大家自己也可以試試看喔~

In most countries, prison is the most common solution for the problem of crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

 

 

雅思寫作話題解析

很多考生的立場是這樣的:better education prison 都好,都有用,因此一樣有效,一團和氣,不得罪任何人,那考官就要得罪你了。

但以上的立場,根本就不是一個明確的立場。

 

此外,AB都有效,不代表它們一樣有效。一樣有效,是考生愛走的捷徑。這樣確實可以減少很多思考。

 

我們來想想如何處理。首先,讓考生們無法釋懷的一點,prison better education 都是有效的,其次,再問問你的心,到底哪個更有效?多數人會覺得是better education

 

 

參考思路

長遠看來,better education 更有效;但是針對一些better education 無法改善的人,仍然需要prison.prison better education 的補充

 

主體段的展開:

 

1. 為什麼better education 更有效

 

2. better education 無法改善的人是誰

 

雅思寫作9分範文:

開頭段

Opinions differ on the extent to which incarceration deals effectively with crime as opposed to improving the quality of education. My view is that there will always be a role for prisons in confining evil people, but better education is more likely to reduce crime levels.

 

主體段1:討論prison 的作用

Confining criminals to prison is likely to always be necessary at least to some extent. There are currently a large number of people in jail for serious offences like murder and, for them, preventive education would come too late. It is more important that society continue to be protected from them than to release them in the hope that they might reform by virtue of educational programmes. Another reality is the fact that some people choose to commit serious wrongdoings no matter how much education they have received. This is the case for many white-collar crimes such as fraud which often involve the elaborate schemes that only very intelligent people could devise.

 

1) 犯了謀殺罪等重罪的大量囚犯,靠防止犯罪的教育來改變他們,已經太遲了。保護人們不受他們的傷害,比釋放他們並指望通過教育來改造他們,更重要。

 

2) 有些人無論接受了多少教育,都會選擇犯罪。很多白領犯罪,比如詐騙,就是需要高智商的人才能設計出來的。

 

主體段2:討論better education 的作用

Nevertheless, improvements to education would, in my view, be a better means of reducing the number of people who want to commit crime in the long-term. Acquiring more useful knowledge especially when young would provide greater opportunities for entry into satisfying careers. Further education opens up new possibilities in terms of developing healthy interests and participating in worthwhile activities such as sports and hobbies. Better education would achieve improved outcomes such as a proficiency in a sport rather than just a passing interest. The more people achieve personal goals in terms of their careers or hobbies, the more people will find meaning in life and thus not be tempted to use their talents in illegal ways.

 

1) 獲取更多有用的知識,尤其在年輕的時候,會給人帶去更大的機會,進入體面的職業。

 

2) 中學後的深造,為人們培養健康的興趣和參加有意義的活動,提供了新的可能性。

 

3) 更好的教育能帶來更好的結果,比如對某項運動轉瞬即逝的興趣變成了熟練。

越多的人在職業和愛好方面達到了目標,就有越多的人找到生命的意義,因此不會被誘惑將自己的才華運用到違法的事情上。

 

結尾段

In conclusion, I acknowledge the place that imprisonment will have in protecting society from serious offenders who have already committed crimes. However crime levels are more likely to fall more drastically over the longer term by reason of improvement to education.

arrow
arrow
    全站熱搜

    字神帝國英語天地 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()